Leaving Yu
by Hanashi o suru
Summary: Kanda finds a note from his Moyashi, saying that he would leave him. Thinking back to how they first met, Kanda realizes that maybe Allen was right for leaving him...however...is he really going to leave Kanda like the note says? (Rated NC-17! REPOSTED!)


**Hana: So, this is the re-posted and edited version of Leaving Yu. You're welcome.**

 **Allen: You're really mad about the whole thing, aren't you?**

 **Kanda: If someone suddenly took away your Mitarashi, you'd be mad too, Moyashi.**

 **Allen: ...I would be, but would they really live to tell the tale if they tried?**

 **Hana: -pat's Allen's head- You're so pure sometimes. I still don't own D. Gray-man! Enjoy reading, and...hopefully this stays up? -crosses fingers-**

 **... ... ... ...**

 _I can't stand it. You say you want me, but then you push me away. You say you hate me, but then I find you pulling me closer to you. I can't bring myself to hate you...or maybe I do. But either way, I can't stay with someone who keeps showing me mixed emotions. So here I am writing a letter to you. By the time you read this, I'm sure I'll be far away. From your temper. Your mixed emotions. And more over, I'll be far from you._

 _Regards,_

He read the letter a few more times. Despite the letter not being signed, nor was it formally addressed to him, he still knew who it was for, and who it was coming from. That damn...! Was it so hard to show him how he felt? Either way it was too late now. He was probably long gone by now. There was no hope to get him back now...maybe the reality of it was he never had him to begin with...sighing, Yu Kanda replaced the letter left to him from his Moyashi. _Che. This probably means I can't really call him my moyashi now does it? Damn._ He thought. He never was good with his emotions. No, he wasn't good with people.

Yu Kanda: the anti-social bastard. Yu Kanda: the coldest man who ever walked upon the Earth. Yu Kanda: The one who's icy barriers had been melted by only two people in his life. The first being a close friend, Alma Karma, and the second being the boy he loved, the one who he felt he would most likely never see again. The Moyashi that didn't back down from his outbursts, who's silver eyes had seen hardships, who's snowy white hair always seemed to glisten when the moon's rays would hit it just right. Realizing where his thoughts were heading, Kanda tried quickly relinquished such memories of none other than Allen Walker. Key word: _tried_. And try as he might, they just kept resurfacing.

 _**. . - Flashback - . .** _

_"Moyashi." Kanda scowled upon seeing the teen for the fist time. "Oi! Mo-ya-shi!"  
_

 _"You talking about me?" The said moyashi asked suddenly looking at the Japanese man in question. "And I'm not a beansprout!"_  
Impressive. He knows some Japanese. _Kanda had once thought. "Che. You look like one. Moyashi."  
_

 _"It's Allen!" The white-haired boy exclaimed with frustration. "My name is Allen Walker!"  
_

 _"You're still Moyashi." Kanda smirked, watching Allen's expression. "Therefore, that's what I'm calling you." The younger pouted. Something seemed to have drawn Kanda to this boy of fifteen or sixteen. But what it was, he didn't know. Was it his eyes? The way he stood out? Maybe it was the fact that unlike the others he met, this young boy stood his ground. Either way it amazed and pissed the Japanese teen off.  
_

 _"Who are you, anyway?" Allen asked him, staring at the long-haired teen before him.  
_

 _"Kanda." He stated. "And that's all you're getting to know." He wasn't sure why he told someone so annoying, so idiotic, so...fragile-looking, his name. But as fragile as he might've looked to the Japanese teen, Kanda remembered quite well how much he had been proven wrong just later that day.  
_

 _"You're a freak!" A man said, who was holding on to Allen's left arm. "What idiot would ever love someone as hideous as you?"  
_

 _"I suggest you take that back." Allen had muttered. Kanda was close by, though not visible for either the white-haired teen or his attacker to see...yet he had a clear view of what was going on here. "I'm really not in a good mood right now, sir."_

"What in the hell—?" Kanda watched in shock (which wasn't shown on his face) as the smaller male had tossed the man over his shoulder, and flat on his back, getting the wind knocked out of him.

 _"I told you I wasn't in a good mood." Allen told the then unconscious man on the ground.  
_

 _"Yu!"  
_

 _"How many times did I tell you not to call me that?" Kanda said looking at the oncoming red-head. "What are you even doing here, rabbit?"  
_

 _"You're mean, Yu!" the said rabbit pouted. "Isn't that Allen?"  
_

 _"You know him?"  
_

 _"Everyone knows him, Yu. He's the transfer student the whole school was talking about. He came here from jolly ol' England, though where from there he never said." Kanda new he'd be lying if he said his interest wasn't spiked. "I know that look on your face, Yu."  
_

 _"Then you know what I want you to do, right?"  
_

 _"Find out what I can about Allen?"  
_

 _"Do you have to phrase it like a question?" Lavi laughed at his friend's antics, and left Kanda alone to watch Allen's retreating figure. I want him. He'd decided._

 **. . - * - . .**

 _"Moyashi." He called the younger. This was weeks later.  
_

 _"What do you want?" Allen asked the older. "I don't have time for the likes of you."  
_

 _"Then make time."  
_

 _"I can't."  
_

 _"Then I'll just take some of your time." He grabbed Allen's wrist, pulling him into an isolated place within a forested area. "I need to speak with you."  
_

 _"Can't this wait? I need to meet Lenalee soon." He had no reply, it wasn't until they made it to a clearing of trees when Kanda finally spoke.  
_

 _"I want you." At this remark, Allen stared at the raven-haired teen.  
_

 _"W-what?" Allen's face was tinted pink at Kanda's remark.  
_

 _"I. Want. You." Kanda repeated all the while making Allen back up into one of the wider trees. "What more do I have to say, Allen?" The younger's face started to flush, when he realized what Kanda was saying.  
_

 _"I-I...Kanda...I'm sorry, I—" Whatever words that Allen wanted to say, were silenced when his lips were smoldered by the dark-eyed man before him.  
_

 _"Nng..." Silver eyes closed as he relaxed into the sudden kiss. At this, Kanda's lips moved to Allen's jaw, then to the scar on his face. Moving Allen's bangs from his view, he kissed the pentacle, and moved down to the eye lid the line went over.  
_

 _"I told you, I want you,_ Aren _." Kanda allowed his accent to purposely come at Allen's name. "Be mine." He started ravishing the white-haired teen's lips again, his tongue asking for entrance. Feeling weak at his knees, Allen started sliding down to the ground, Kanda following close. He was granted access, and they battled for dominance, Kanda being the better fighter, won. He mapped the moyashi's wet caverns, tasting something that could be Allen.  
_

 _"K-Kanda..." Allen moaned, once Kanda parted from him, the younger had lost all sense of his self.  
_

 _"Hn." The older started kiss at Allen's jaw, his neck...where his shirt was starting to get in the way. Nimble fingers managed to get the buttons undone, and untie the tie around his neck. Both articles were disregarded, allowing Kanda to see Allen's pale form. "Beautiful."  
_

 _"D-don't flatter! You c-can't call another guy 'beautiful'!" Allen tried arguing.  
_

 _"And if not 'beautiful', then what, mo-ya-shi?" The way Kanda said the nickname Allen learned to hate was only sending shivers through out his body. He would be blushing, if not for his blood taking a detour to the south. He hoped the older wouldn't notice, but alas he did. "Getting excited just by saying moyashi?" He smirked.  
_

 _"P-please, Kanda..." Allen whimpered. A smirk graced the older's face, as he lowered his head to Allen's collar bone, sucking and nipping on the skin, leaving a few marks in his wake. Experimentally, Kanda licked at one of Allen's nipples, earning a throaty moan from said boy. He continued his assaults, all the while using a free hand to play with the other bud on the white-haired boy's chest. He gave both the same treatment. When he was through, he then headed south to his navel, dipping his tongue into it. Allen's reaction was a muffled wanton moan, to which he tried so desperately to not let the elder teen hear. It was a futile attempt. Even if he was using his left deformed arm as a means to do so. "St-stop...teasing, please..."  
_

 _At some point, Allen's pants had somehow gone to his ankles, leaving him in his boxers. Kanda's shirt had also been removed during that time, including the tie he used to keep his hair up. Through lust-filled eyes, Allen hungrily stared at the well formed body of the man above him. A tattoo over his heart, and hair that fell over his shoulders almost like a waterfall.  
_

 _"B-breathtaking." Allen found himself saying. Too engrossed in looking at the cobalt eyes before him, he failed to notice his bare skin full exposed to the said cobalt eyed teen. He closed his eyes, and suddenly felt something licking at...Allen's eyes shot opened just in time to watch Kanda take Allen's erect member into his mouth, deep-throating the organ. "K-Kanda!" Allen exclaimed through pants. Three fingers were pressed to Allen's lips, and he allowed them in, coating them with his saliva, and moaning with the pleasure he was feeling. He moaned when the warmth left his cock, only to be put over his mouth.  
_

 _Distracted as Allen was, he still felt those fingers he had sucked earlier starting to head south to their new destination. One finger slid inside the younger's ring of muscle, soon to be followed by a second. Kanda began scissoring the two fingers stretching the younger for something bigger. A third finger was entered, and Allen arched and moaned in ecstasy when the callused fingers brushed against the spot that made the white-head boy see stars.  
_

 _"Found it." Kanda said removing his fingers. Allen moaned in disappointment, but watched as Kanda rid himself of his trousers and undergarment. He positioned himself in front of Allen, and in one quick thrust, sheathed himself into the younger boy. He waited as patiently as he could, until Allen started squirming, wanting Kanda to move. More than happy to oblige, he removed himself, though not entirely, and thrusted back into the younger's heat.  
_

 _"F-Faster...f-fuck me harder...p-please...YU!"Allen was lost in the pain and pleasure he was feeling at this point.  
_

 _"You sure, Aren?" Kanda managed to say, despite being close to his release._  
"Fuck me till I can't walk for weeks!" Smirking, Kanda did just that. He started pumping Allen's member in time with his thrusts, he leaned down and stole a needy kiss from the boy. Allen wrapped his legs around Kanda's waist, attempting to get the older teen in deeper. It was Allen who rode his orgasm first, and Kanda followed soon after, panting hard. After a few moments, Kanda pulled out of Allen, who was half asleep.

 _"You're amazing." He breathed into Allen's ear. "I love you, Allen."  
_

 _"I love Yu...too." Allen weakly said, before he fell asleep._

 _**. . - End Flashback - . .** _

It had been three years since then. And as Allen's letter pointed out, he did push him away, and pull him back again. But he didn't want his moyashi to leave. "You stupid fool." Kanda muttered, clenching the paper, almost as though he thought it would keep him holding on to life.

Suddenly he heard the door open, but paid it no mind. He paid no attention to the shuffling feet coming into the living room, nor did he at first hear his name being called.

"Yu? I...thought you were still asleep...what do you have in your hand?" Head jerking up, Kanda turned to see the now eighteen-year-old white-haired teen himself. "What's that paper you're...?"

"I thought you were leaving, moyashi."

"Leaving? Why would I leave you?" Allen asked confusion clear in his face. Kanda shoved the paper in Allen's face, and he took it. Upon reading the note, Allen couldn't help but laugh. "You thought I was leaving you, Yu?"

"Aren't you?"

"Far from it. You may "push me away, then pull me right back", as it says here, but I wouldn't leave you for all the mirtarashi dangos in the world."

"Is that so?" Sensing the danger from his lover, Allen took two steps back, for every one step Kanda took towards him. "You didn't deny writing this."

"No, I didn't deny it." Allen said. "It's because I did write it. It was within the first year we were together. I was stressed out because of how you used to act, and Lavi suggested I write one of those letters that you write, but don't send to anyone. It worked."

"So, it's that damn rabbit's fault." Confusion was on Allen's face, as he looked at his long-haired lover. "Why would you say that?"

"It's always his damn fault for things." Kanda started advancing on Allen, who who paled some, and backed up until he was pressed against a door. "I don't have the rabbit here so I can't kill him for these chains of events, but I'll have to punish you for even thinking of leaving. I don't care if it was three years ago, _Aren_." Allen gulped, knowing exactly where this was going. Before he could he could do anything, he was pinned between a rock and a hard place. Kanda's lips began ravishing the younger's, and almost instantly Allen felt weak in the knees. Much like their first time.

"K-Kanda..." He managed when the older pulled back some.

"Be ready, mo-ya-shi. You're not going to be able to move for a month." The door behind Allen opened, and it was then his ass was literally screwed.

 **... ... ... ...**

 **Again, I hope this stays posted. Because god-fucking dammit, 2012 me had put a lot of effort into this work back when it was first conceived...y'all remember it was the first Yullen I had ever posted to FF, right?**

 **Anyway, R &R ain't for rest and relaxation, even if it's obvious how much I migh tneed it. Don't forget to leave a review and lemme know how I did! Show this story some love by favoriting this work, and...I'll see you in a different story! Baiiii~**


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